The Alternative Fact Syndrome

Instead of watching the much anticipated match up of presidential candidates Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump in their third and final debate, I ended up watching the Dodgers take on the Cubs in the NLCS. Just after the sixth when the Cubs were up 10 – 2, I decided to turn off the TV all together. I just needed a much needed break –just a little time to unwind and say enough is enough. Local sports have been a bit of a slump (although the NFL was finally back in LA), rent and gas prices were up, and the presidential race was devolving into a horrible episode of trash daytime television just before the early news.

What the hell is going on with this thing called the human race?

It’s almost becoming a bit of a cliché of itself, having to walk through a supermarket with a small basket of discounted items because you have some sort of geo-targeted online add pulled up on your iPhone – just remember to show your cashier so they can scan your QSR code. We’re more and more becoming the guinea pigs to some social experiment that we didn’t even realize we consented for. From the fast food dining room, to the social media celebrities we follow, to the polarizing twitter hashtag defining who’s life actually matters for something, this place called civilization has amounted to nothing more than a catch phrase – a way for a bombastic loudmouth billionaire to cash in his chips and decide to inspire the masses armed with nothing more than a catchy slogan and a little misguided hatred towards the other. I’d almost say that I was dissatisfied that WWE star Stone Cold Steve Austin hasn’t just appeared at one of his rallies, giving him the ominous finger and body slamming him on a pile of dog shit. I guess that is why I can’t have good things in life.

            As long as ratings stay up, then business is ah-booming.Most of the time, I find myself just in awe of it all. Why watch your daytime soaps when you can just park yourself on a bench and watch the absurdity of everyday people. I sometimes find myself curious, if there was some sort of extraterrestrial civilization observing our every waking moment. I often just dismiss these as just random thoughts and discard them just as fast. But the more I rationalize the tripe that comes out of most of these media outlets and so-called “expert analyst,” the idea of a scripted reality for the amusement of these other worldly beings becomes more and more plausible.Could they be watching us at this very moment? Seeing us struggle and fall –waging war? Curing disease? Making love? This condition would seem something of a rarity –the only consciousness on our planet that can produce such questions. Are we to die and become no more or is there some sort of everlasting circle? Maybe we are to live on through the blood and body of our offspring. Just a passing thought in the maelstrom of on-demand streaming television.Just give me a couple more likes on my latest online tweet, just to let me know that it was all worth something.

December 31, 2016 came and went like a flash and I took a good look at the remains of wadded-up confetti flakes mixed in with wet beer soaked napkins on the floor. A brand new year and we’re getting ready for our celebrity savior Donald Trump to take office. The people have spoken so lets not waste a single breath trying to dispute it. My own energy is spent on trying to figure out what is going on in my own head –I had a hard enough time trying to dispute weather or not I should wear a pair off boxer-briefs out the package without washing it. Who has the time to fret over social-economic tragedies such as the American system when we have the ability to eat non-GMO burrito bowls, or binge watch on our tablets and iPhones?Last night, while drinking a couple of IPAs and playing jenga, I tried to count how many times I saw someone staring into their phones, making sure they “stayed connected.” The count got up to 22 before I had to take a piss, forgetting what my point was. Does it seem that they’re some grey filter between people now-a-days, even when I’m in mid conversation with them? I’ve become obsessed by the idea of being heard without having to compete with the sudden ping of a message notification.            

I’ve decided though that I will stay optimistic at the turn of this new year. The market is up and the states have an opportunity to build new forged relationships with foreign powers, because business is all about the “win-win.” As long as we leave it better than how we saw it, for our kids sake; our eternal lives depend on it. It’s the new frame of mind that I’ve managed to adopt, removing the all Supreme Being that runs my reality and focusing on man instead –because in the day of big data and big brother, it seems that there is only one thing guaranteed and that is the here and now –with only each other to keep us sane, no one else. Wars, politics, religious zealots, Donald Trump: it all seems senseless when placed in the context that we could very well be all alone in this whole great thing called the universe.

2017 puts a new perspective that we might actually need one another to survive what’s in store for us. Earth will not last forever, but will humanity rise up –and live past this modern age and into the stars? It may very well be in the dealing, but only if the chips fall in our favor. But lets at least make each other comfortable in the meantime. Forty-five days into this guys Presidency and I already want to hang ‘em up and say “maybe the next guy (or gal) will figure it out.” I know it’s a gross statement to speculate upon the legacy of Mr. Donald J. Trump, but what about the children? While the adults are having way too much fun playing politics, the next generation is already planting their foreheads upon their tiny little palms wondering if they’re already expected to come up with the solution. After all, we’re only borrowing this plot of land and sea from their gracious hearts.It’s not so bad, as long as we have The Bachelor on ABC Monday nights to keep us warm and secure, there’s no need to be weary on the foreign powers that are at this moment mobilizing against our weakness. Just take a moment and take in the bliss of selective notifications –if something bothers you that much, just unfriend them and if you can’t think of anything nice to say, find a twitter chain and blast some poor sap anonymously with a violent tirade in just under 127 characters or less.Remember, we are the world’s example of sophistication and social enlightenment, just as long as nobody cares too much about the alternative facts.


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