#20 Why So Angry? Podcast: Youtube, the End of Privacy, and The Irishman on Netflix

Alex and Tonio get together to talk about their thoughts of Netflix's The Irishman starring Al Pacino and Robert De Niro. Also, some talk about modern day media consumption, who is the next voice of our generation, and what is our right to be forgotten in a digital age.

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#19 Why So Angry? Podcast: Post Thanksgiving, New Year Mantra, and a Lost Notebook

I'm going to dedicated this post to Monday mornings. 

As it is no secret, that my greatest nemesis on this earth is the Monday morning commute. 

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#18 Why So Angry? Podcast: You Have a Certain Look

The true inspiration for this episode came from a clip I saw online of Jane Elliott asking hard, to the point question about race. I believe this moment always runs through my mind whenever I interact with individuals on both sides of the racial divide. Its raw and unflattering and unwaivering in its authenticity towards reducing us to fellow human beings.

In all respects, I don't want to pose as someone with the insight to convey the true meaning of Jane's message, but it touched me in a profound way none the less. 

 Apologies for another short post. But sorry, I have a new born at home. So I am a bit short on time. Thought I'd share some words below.

As a Sun Bursts

As time marches on, 
we all become real 
— our flesh bone. 
To tell a story, 
through the eyes of the 

They looked down upon 
their children. 
The moons of the sky. 
Joined by their sister 
and formed the bond. 

The sun bursts and fire
begins to chase. 
But the concrete jungle 
of man protected me 
from the towering flames.

But I was safe and happy —
and alone. 

But I felt connected 
to it all. 
Brothers & Sisters 
— and to the higher power.

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#17 Why So Angry? Podcast: Three's a Crowd When Talking About Being Present

Today's post is a short one (I think I've been saying that a lot lately). But for good reason. 

I'm excited to share this one because I feel like me and the team are really finding our groove for what will ultimately be the story we each want to tell. No experience is truly your own. You are living your life so that you can turn around and share in the knowledge and wisdom to the rest of the world. That is truly purpose that no amount of money, fame, or adulation can replace. 

Enjoy my pretties!
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Show Notes

#16 Why So Angry? Podcast: The Good, The Bad, and The Messy of New Parenting

I remember going to a Crossfit gym in LA and meeting an individual who had an interesting job: a financial manager for professional sports players. He explained to me how the job was like being a parent -- having to teach their children about money. I distinctly remember the most important lesson that he would tell his clients, "to never put your money in depreciating assets." When I heard that I was struck and started wishing that I had learned this from an early age.

Therefore, I want to talk about value systems. I want to talk about those most important things in life that are expected of youths to understand as they grow older. Yet, sadly there is a large majority of these lessons that are more implied rather than explicit through our institutional educational systems. What I mean by implied is by the way we are forced to read between the lines to determine what it requires to live as adults. It is fair to say that there are critical concepts to learn during the early stages of development (emotional intelligence, social etiquette, hygiene, personal finance), and though we have specialized curriculum that may engage with these "societal" wellness categories, I would say that from an academic standpoint, these areas of self-growth are severely lacking.

Of course, this stance is a more a matter of my perspective, but I'd have to say that my life has been a result of learning a lot of things on my own -- and it wouldn't be that much of a stretch to state the claim that there is a large majority that feel the same way. My parents really sacrificed a lot to make sure that me and my siblings were provided for in every area of development, to make sure we had a strong educational background and that we participated in almost every extracurricular activities -- making sure that we were active physically and mentally. My mother specifically pushed for us to be in certain activities -- and I think I never really understood why, but in hindsight I understand. Essentially, she feared that my father, who was tremendously incapacitated by depression, wasn't suited to be a strong paternal figure necessary to facilitate a balanced and healthy adolescence. Therefore, my parents had strong feelings that -- having been provided a sound educational background -- their children will somehow overcome a vacancy left behind my mental illness. 

Though my own story is unique to myself and my family, yet I suspect my story has more in common with other members of the community -- and more specifically, the under privileged minority families that exist throughout this nation. I have realized that there is a tremendous gap in not just society's educational system, but our cultural developmental system. 

The perception exists that schools are predominantly tasked to educate America's youth with the necessary life skills that will build a thriving economy and society. However, that is not the entire picture. What happens when families are severely lacking with the at-home dynamics that make for a complete and emotionally balanced human being? After all, aren't these places of education quick to the defensive posture that they cannot be responsible for destructive behavior of certain severely troubled children? That schools can never replace the need of involved parental figures?

American school systems' primary function is to introduce our youth to higher levels of education: math, science, English, and history. Yet, where are the crucial lessons about personal finance and how to save money? What of the concepts of what is acceptable debt and how to understand medical health insurance? Schools aren't here to teach students how to be compassionate towards a partner in a relationship or how to deal with perpetual loneliness -- the things that really are the core of your day-to-day adulthood for most Americans. Sadly, parents, especially if they're two working parents that have to leave their children with a caretaker or preschool, a kindergarten or middle school teacher, are trusting their children will somehow learn these lesson's through osmosis of some sort.  

So, essentially what I'm trying to illustrate here is that there's a gap. Whose fault is it? How is it supposed to be? I think these questions would immediately be jumping to the per-mature reaction of "how do we fix things". But let's just take a moment to acknowledge that there is a problem before we do what we do best and blame one another. I'm not even proposing a solution or an ideal setup of how this is supposed to be, but a spotlight.

So long answer, short answer, is to remember when you start earning your own money to think of every purchase as an appreciating or a non-appreciating asset. 

Okay. That's all I have.

Show Credits:

  • Follow me on Twitter: twitter.com/AlexAntonio00
  • Visit www.captivatedmind.com for show notes.
  • Music by twitter.com/TheGlitchMusic 
No show notes this week.

#15 Why So Angry? Podcast: Nobel Peace Prize for Truth, Anxiety, and Joker

I have a ton of thoughts buzzing through my head, at almost every waking moment (and sometimes non-waking) of the day. So naturally, having some sort of overactive thought process can be a bit of a burden. Okay, in fact, its overbearing -- a lot of the times debilitating. When I as in my early 20s, I actually went to see a neurologist and was prescribed an MRI scan of my brain. The reason was actually for a condition I have with my shaky hands that, in hindsight, seems unrelated to any neurological disease -- but I was just to leave no stone unturned.

What I want to illustrate is that when I get a thought in my head, I have a hard time balancing different big ideas -- ideas of who I'm supposed to be, my identity of what I'm supposed to believe in, what I'm supposed to be ambitious and excited about -- just too many ideas that really are vastly different from one another; they all become like spinning plates, or huge bowls of water, teetering atop some long, 10 foot iron pole. I am stuck trying keep each idea spinning, preventing the bowls from crashing to pieces on the floor. Each time I fail to spin a pot fast enough, I suffer with the notion that I have witnessed some form of true potential fade away.

It is all in a multitude. What gets me stuck is that I can't commit to a single idea long enough -- and that bothers me; that makes me sad -- leaves me feeling empty, and tired and sad and lonely and fatigued. Sometimes I can feel my eyes filling up with tears of regret that I will never really become my full potential -- because I can't have my own authenticity. 

When I present an idea of thought, a single point of view, a simple equation of cause and effect, I realize that it is in this nature that our true potential comes into being. Basically, when there's so much going on, like some free radicals from an atomic source a billion times the size of the sun, do we now know how to conquer ourselves. It's right there just staring at you -- an idea out of the nebulous -- your power, your core, your ability in all its manifestation centralized around your ability to be within yourself.

So you see, that idea coming at you like a bullet, go ahead and acknowledge it. Just as Neo did in the Matrix, observing a wall of hot lead soaring in mid-space towards him. He sees every single moment and he's awakened. That's how I imagined my being when a terror of an emotional wave comes careening towards me -- or thoughts and self doubt, or rejection, or pain, or fear -- any single one of those cannonballs of ill will heading right towards every vital organ. It is then that you see what is unseen, that perfect tear in the fabric that reveals the wizard behind the curtains. The stage and play is discovered and we are not just the actors or the audience members, or the critics with their op-ed columns in The New Yorker. We are the entirety of it all.

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#14 Why So Angry? Podcast: New Dad Blues Part II & More TV's with Topics

Sometimes my show ideas just come from a post I see online and I just run with it -- but it is not without a mission. I try to gather some context to what I ultimately want to achieve and provide value to you, my most cherished reader. 

Let's start with the idea of mindfulness. What the fuck is it and how is this new age bullshit supposed to keep me from walking off a bridge? For starters, don't let the mystic or esoteric connotation intimidate you from the notion that true mindfulness can be achieved through rigorous discipline. If anything, mindfulness should spread out to those with the least bit idea of how to control their environment.

Now, the reason why I'm referencing their environment, as opposed to their thoughts, is because I am a firm "believer" -- I use this phrase loosely because I don't want to associate this with any spiritual/religious abstractions -- that our acknowledgement of thought dictates what our physical manifestation of what our reality will ultimately become. Our presence within the physical universe is a complex web where the slightest twitch or pull in one direction will ripple out to cause symmetrical reactions to occur in another.

So what the fuck does all that mean?

I love the way that British philosopher and theologist Alan Watts described a teaching of mind over matter as a method of thought and nothing more; he would propose an idea without committing to the listener's needs to accept any of it. Now, I am doing the same thing here. 

If my actions are a byproduct of my motivations -- and my motivations are simply a melody of our own thoughts -- then by mere process of mind we are actively shaping our environment. Though this may simply sound like a "no-shit-sherlock" moment for our dutiful readers, but I assure you that I feel that we give ourselves so much less credit to our actual ability to become shapers of our world, as opposed to just "doers" in the sense that we are following a pre-ordained script. 

Do the research and you will start to see what it is that makes up "living in the present."

Now, to this week's episode!

It was a struggle (which is probably not good that I openly admit this publicly for fear of showcasing my amateureness with this media project).  But it's fucking here despite all the negative reasons of why it shouldn't. So allow me to fucking live!

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Show Notes: No show notes....ehh I just don't have it in me this week! I will do better. I promise. 

#13 Why So Angry? Podcast: The Association of World's End and Conscious Focus

Oh, good Lord. This podcast is a reflection of myself -- and it sure does show. I think that it is interesting how life is now imitating art, and that I am trying to be more reflective about how I view the world -- which I think is making me a better human being.

This week's episode is about the end of the world! [Insert Smiley Face Here]

I don't want to be a negative nilly, but I think it's a safe bet to that my outlook on the future is a bit gray at best. However, I am a firm believer that my worldview is just that: my sole worldview. My perspective is strictly my own and an expression of my own negative anxieties.

So, as fair warning, I don't want to perpetuate myself as some sort of prophet of destruction. This reality bends and shapes itself to the forces of nature that are well beyond our understanding and control. Maybe it is just the desires of people to fret over the end of an age because we've lost the sense of creativity. What can we do now when everything has already been created and built and explored?

For better or for worse, we are all still here and that counts for something. Live in the moment and always remember the future hasn't been written -- even if the ending has been foreshadowed to shit!

"Everyone, deep in their hearts, is waiting for the end of the world to come." Haruki Murakami, 1Q84

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#12 Why So Angry? Podcast: Failure Is A Gem Best Served Spicy

I posted this instagram because it makes me smile. Actually, it makes me really think about what my mind goes through at all the odd hours of the night.

Today's episode I bring back my good friend and former writing partner, Tonio, to talk about a key moment in our path towards following our dreams to becoming Hollywood screenwriters. 

The reason why I wanted to bring this memory onto the show is to be able to share an experience that doesn't seem to be covered a lot in today's mainstream culture. It feels like we always celebrate and focus on the ultra-successful and hyper-popular public figures of the "Rich and Famous" variety.

Now I don't want to be a Debbie-Downer, or sound like I cannot take away anything of value from motivational speaker such as Tony Robbins or Gary Vaynerchuk, but sometimes I feel that everything, in terms of the tough experiences, gets flattened out when we hear it come from the perspective of the successful.

My mission is to get too the ground level of what is causing our level of disgruntlement. Perhaps I'm being my traditional negative self, but I'm simply providing some real-time documentation of what actually happened to me without the "pie-in-the-sky" message of "it will get better as long as you don't quit your dreams!" 

Well everyone, I did quit a dream, and perhaps, I'm a prouder man for it. 

So stay tuned!

A post shared by (っ◔◡◔)っ (@adopte) on

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Show Notes:
  • War of art great work of nonfiction chronicling the tales of Steven Pressfield's journey through the struggles of creative process and how we as imaginative beings are locked into an eternal battle against resistance and inspired freedom. 

#11 Why So Angry? Podcast: What it Means to Have a Safe Space in an Age of Division

I had to pause before I begin this post. I'm not clear on the hesitation, but I have a hunch it is because I don't want to spread any more negativity that's already rampant across the internet. However, as mentioned on today's episode, we want to make sure that the lives lost on that tragic day are carried on in our hearts and minds. I know this consolation is just a drop in the bucket of what is needed to effectively implement change -- yet it is all the power I possess. 

Andre Pablo Anchondo, 23 of El Paso 
Jordan Anchondo, 24 of El Paso 
Arturo Benavidez, 60 
Leonard Cipeda Campos, 41 
Maria Flores, 77 
Raul Flores, 77 
Jorge Calvillo Garcia, 61 of Torreón 
normal;">Adolfo Cerros Hernandez, 68 of Aguascalientes

Alexander Gerhard Hoffman, 66 
David Alvah Johnson, 63 
Luis Alfonzo Juarez, 90 
Maria Eugenia Legarrega Rothe, 58 of Chihuahua 
Elsa Libera Marquez, 57 of Yepomera 
Maribel Loya, 56 
Ivan Hilierto Manzano, 46 of Juárez 
Gloria Irma Marquez, 61 of Juárez 
Margie Reckard, 63 
Sarah Esther Regaldo Moriel, 66 of Ciudad Juárez 
Javier Rodriguez, 15 
Teresa Sanchez, 82 
Angelina Silva-Elisbee, 86 
Juan Velazquez, 77

Today's guest host is my long time friend and collaborator Mark. We put together an interesting discussion -- the first of many -- about the toxic nature of our society today, and how the need for trusted circles are vital medicines.

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Show Notes:
  • The latest overview of the Amazon burning at a historic pace -- and the international response. 
  • Interesting piece that gives context towards the end of the episode -- from Nausicaa Renner of The New Yorker -- on how today's internet entombs our past selves and how this impacts our development. 

#10 Why So Angry? Podcast: Is The Expanse Worth the Hype?

Still been a hectic week since some recent family emergencies. So the post game will be short yet again. But enjoy the episode. 

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Music by: https://twitter.com/TheGlitchMusic

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#9 Why So Angry? Podcast: Quick and Short, with Just a Tad Bit of Vikings

Show notes are shorter than usual this week. Will return back to usual (or as close to usual as possible) for some good ear magic. 

Until then, enjoy. 

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#8 Why So Angry? Podcast: Marvel Recap & How Dysfunctional is Synonymous with Family

I think the trickiest part about entering a new space is trying to balance creative authenticity, all the while appealing to mass markets. This project has strictly been an outlet for my creativity to experiment and share ideas with the online community; however, I would be insincere if I say that I didn't want this content to be enjoyed, at the very least, by a small community of internet goers. 

Starting this project, I imagine a spectrum: on one side you have pure creation and original authenticity; on the other, you have formulaic, researched, calculated content targeted towards mass appeal. Therefore, creating content successfully requires a balance between the creator --retaining the ability to enjoy the creative process without losing oneself --and the critic and public tastes that will ultimately result in popularity. 

So we are in a nebula-like period but thank you for sticking in there. I'm just having fun here and hope that you all enjoy what info you can get from this. 

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#7 Why So Angry? Podcast: Just in Time For the Fireworks

This has been a lot of fun. But the weekly posts are grueling and I can just see the white towel just waiting to be tossed in. But let me just settle in and just share with the world.

Broadcasting to you all the way from SoCal comes with its risk, one of which is the possibility of the whole ground just opening up and swallowing you whole. Well, my home just grazed against a 1.0 earthquake, but still, that doesn't take away from the risk! To quote Bilbo Baggins, “It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to.” 

Couple of key comments prior to this episode, the audio is a train-wreck! I know! I love the freedom of walking around with the mic in my hand but it comes through audibly during every sentence. I'll figure out what to do about going hands-free, but its no excuse, I got to try and sit my ass down in the chair and let it rip. After all, its why I put the station together. 

I think I am resolving my expectations that this is an ongoing experiment, an audio lab or sorts to reflect (and inject) my own personality that just seems a bit too weird for mainstream corporate life. And if anyone that I do ACTUALLY know is reading this: GET BACK TO WORK!

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/AlexAntonio00

Show Notes:

#6 Why So Angry? Podcast: The New Dad Blues

The Catalyst

If ten years ago, you looked me in the eyes,
what will be the man you'll see?

If ten years from now, you looked me in the eyes,
would you dread the man you'll see?

What will they say of today's version of me?
Was today where it all changed? The link?

At the lowest point that one may feel, 
it is at this juncture 
when you are vital.

The moment where our farm boy decides 
to leave his broken home and ride
into the desert, to become legend.  


I've mentioned Toastmaster's once before on this blog and now here we are full circle mentioning it again on the podcast. I really need an endorsement deal! 

The art of communication is one that everyone seems to struggle with, but yet no one cares to admit openly. I'll usually give a fair critique of myself as a competent communicator, but in the hands of other individuals, I barely make the cut. I say this with the upmost love and compassion towards myself, but I tend to be pretty dim when it comes to complex emotional well being.

Why talk about this on the show?

My fascination towards the human psyche and our complex array of emotional modes just make for very interesting conversation, but more importantly, self-empowering reflection of my own development into adulthood. 

I digress. This story is all about my transition to becoming a dad and how life just seems to have a different angle that I've never noticed before. I guess I'm just trying to toot my own horn, but I could be wrong

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#5 Why So Angry? Podcast: A Little Story About Libra and Orange Chicken

I think I can be a bit of a cynical person when it comes to certain topics. Lately, I've been the biggest cynic towards the world of social media. The irony right?

Its not that I believe that social platforms today are all an unrelenting evil in today's social stratosphere, but more of sugary substances that's causing us more anxiety and heartache than we care to admit. I don't have to list the countless research out there that points to the daily dosage of social media contributing to widespread mental health issues, (although there are some counterarguments against this belief) yet it comes as no surprise that countless hours on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter can add some serious setbacks to one's daily path towards self improvement when left unchecked. 

I would become the biggest hypocrite if I were to campaign for zero tolerance towards Facebook, or profess some sort of self-imposed Instagram fast --which admitting enough is a nice way to cleanse the headspace every once in a while. However, I think this climate of extreme polarization and ideologies --that can't seem to grip opposing thought existing within the same spectrum of conversation --festers any sort of communication among individuals and now these "digital tools" of sophisticated communication now becomes weaponized.

Maybe I'm just a naive well wisher hoping that the people will rise above the algorithms of influence, perhaps acting in a style that would force the platforms of social media to adjust to us (and not the other way around).  

Where would we be as a world without the existence of social media's greatest contribution to humanity: President Trump. 

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