#22 Why So Angry? Podcast: New Years Roundup, NFL, and WW3

Writing is like observing the observer, while they are observing. The biggest challenge is having to do something that takes up every single corner of your life, every waking moment --everytime you drive to work --everytime you stand in line at the DMV or take a ride in the subway or enjoying a beer. You are doing it anytime you're with friends.

You're writing. You're observing the world.

And when you have to finish the process of actually get that stuff down on paper goes away, you become self conscious of what you're doing. And then just dies off.

So that's the need --that's the fire that's fueling this project --that's the battle I'm always waging. Having to fit myself in this place that doesn't know it even exists and wondering if anyone would bat an eye, if I were to just give up today.

There's so many lows. There's so many lows there's nothing really. In my recent memory that I can think that I was able to feel any sort of purpose out of this for joy, or excitement.

I can't remember the last time I felt fulfilled by this.

I'm not gonna sit here and tell you how to do it --it doesn't matter if you hate it, you want to quit, or you think your life is going to be better for it. But something keeps pulling me back --call it the natural forces at work that just pull me in it's gravitational well --I keep coming back to the blank page. All there is is the blank. 

Part of me wanted to get into this because I thought I would somehow feel comforted with the idea of sitting amongst all my written work and revel in its magnificence while everyone gave me praise. Yeah, there's a big guilty pleasure in admitting it; I know that's not the niether journey nor the truth. That's just a projection, and that's just a physical end game that when the going gets tough (not to use a cliche term). When the sweating gets tough, you're not gonna be thinking about those pleasures, and you're going to be thinking about all the reasons why you're inefficient, or incapable. 

Call me crazy, but I think there's a difference.

Show Notes:

Into Music: The Glitch Music  Featured Song: Skydive by J'san & Epektase 
Listen to more like it at Chillhop
Music by Chillhop: http://chillhop.com/listen
Listen on Spotify: http://bit.ly/ChillhopSpotify 
The Hated One channel - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjr2bPAyPV7t35MvcgT3W8Q
The anger iceberg-https://twitter.com/AlexAntonio0/status/1217537610416918528?s=19

#21 Why So Angry? Podcast: MOVIE REVIEW: Star Wars - The Rise Of Skywalker

Hey everyone! Welcome back to the new year and a new you!

I feel like you are probably used to that. When the words rolled off my tongue, you probably already had the glazed look in your face. But despite the repetitive nature of wishing for the new you to finally awaken, I'm kind of hopeful that this new decade marks something special for all of us.

I feel like I've turned a few corners regarding self discovery — some revelations hard and all were painfully obscure. The struggle of wrestling with my sense of identity has been the central war waged in the battlefield of my mind. Who am I becoming at the turn of this new decade?

Being a father has begun a journey that I can't even comprehend the implications of what my character will reveal. Will I find new ground and become the role model I never had, or am I set to repeat the past? My wife tells me my mind never shuts off and it's been a problem since the birth of our son. Therefore, the need to be present in the here and now is ever more essential.

Also, my need to define what I'm doing online is constantly coming into question: do I focus on my day job as an IT professional or do I keep feeding the flame for my passion for content creation? My creative writing has always struggled to find an outlet into the world and I'm blessed to have the internet — as dystopian as it sounds that big brother Google is archiving and categorizing my every thoughts into datasets that can be sold off to the highest bidder.

This latest episode is my long anticipated reaction review (spoilers included) of the last chapter in the epic Star Wars saga:The Rise of Skywalker. Check it out and stay tuned for more of me in 2020!

Show Notes:

Show Credits: