And you are here! Hey there!

Marie,
Hope your finding your new surroundings quite cozy. How is your first couple of nights in your new villa? How was the travel their? It must have been a nightmare. Have you started your yogi training just yet? Take it all in because when you come out the other side, you are not going to be the same person.
You’re not missing much on the corporate side. They just made this major shift in the company, coining the phrase "evolutionary business restructuring". The pricks basically did away with the local marketing department and decided to consolidate under the parent brand. Which means a promotion for the director of business development, while everyone under gets axed. Funny how those things work.
Things on my end are just the same. Same mundane work tasks that just seem pointless. The skills thay are good for no one except making some old guy rich as our company share holder goes up. But whatever, I’m trying to stay positive with the stuff I got going on outside of work.
No real news on the start up. I'll meet with them tomorrow to see what the status is on our prototype. At this point we're just trying to get some people to open their wallets. The other night my roommate and I managed to go to an entrepenuer mixer. Didnt realize until now I’ve never really networked before. I think I would have a hard time getting out of my comfort zone and putting myself out there. But I’m grown up now and I kicked myself to get into the unkown. Results were a lot more pleasant than I imagined. People seemed genuinely interested on what you have to offer.
Creatively, I have some works in the pipelines (as well as some ideas that have yet to be transformed to paper) and hopefully I’ll have something for you to read on your journey and perhaps give me some eastern mysticism that you are undoubtedly being exposed to.
Hope all is well and look forward to hearing from you.
Julian

A Provocation

That little fucker bit me!
The thought crossed my mind as I examined my thumb for broken skin. Only seeing the small indentation of teeth marks embedded on the flesh. No harm done....physically.
I was enjoying a peaceful Sunday afternoon with the soon to be Mrs., listening to Miles Davis on Pandora and enjoying a glass of red on the couch. In my jovial --yet admittedly mischievous nature --I decided to interact with our small white Terrier/Multese mix who was sitting in his own peace on the space of couch next to me, cradle warmly underneath the leg fold of my fiance's knee. 
For whatever reason, I'd thought I would give a few quick pops to the dogs rear --just for entertainment value --to see if he'd engage in some harmless play fighting. It would be all to my surprise that it was not so for the little fuzzy canine. He quickly lunged at my hand with all the ferocity of a rabid raccoon and found a mouthful that was my right thumb, digging his sharp mandibles into the small meat of the knuckle.
It wasn't so much the physical pain to my hand that began the boil of my tempermant, but that an animal that I thought to have a better acquaintance with would defend itself against me as if i was some unknown stranger. "All the walks and dinners I've provided for you at our expense! Surely, what is this world coming to??"
But what came next was, if not, more surprising. I lunged a hand at the poor dog's small lower mandible, aggressively challenging the animal in the most primitive combat known to any species. The wager that his bark was way to large for his bite and that my willingness to plunge my hand into his mouth, daring him to bite down with all his might and witness what sort of consequence would befall as a result.
But just as the confrontation began to escalate to epic proportions, his "mother" mercifully stepped in and squelched any further possible bloodshed. The tiny white dog was safe, and I, shamed and slightly betrayed, was left wiping the silva of my now sore fingers.
What has become of me?
To challenge my power against a lifeform that is obviously no match, or if anything, much in need of my graces. But why the sudden anger? No one on earth was questioning my manhood or social status --all having willingly admitted that I hold status over my relative domain and that this small, though shortsighted action by this occupying subject, is by no means any challenge to my seat.
So what the fuck gives?
If anything, I got hounded on by my fiance --explaining how the little dog didn't like to be bothered and that I was in the wrong for playing so rough. I argued my position but quickly realized that I was going to lose this argument. So I decided to be the bigger man and return to my studies. But after a moment of silence, the following words from my much beloved finance only added salt to the wound, "he probably doesn't like you anymore because you don't pet him enough."
What sort of tragedy has become of such a peaceful and tranquil Sunday afternoon? It was not as if I was pressing the matter, forcing all of my subjects into submission like some authoritarian. I had waved the white flagged and swallowed the rancid acid substance that was my pride. I had lost the battle. But this was a reckless provocation of continuing tension. Hasn't enough blood been spilt? I suppose the forces that be didn't have enough.
But I wasn't about to stoop to the expected low. I quietly picked up my book and went upstairs to continue reading, alone. After about 20 minutes, I was surprised to feel that the sting did not subside and that I just simply couldn't let it go. And so, I grabbed my keys and wallet, threw on a hooded sweatshirt and sandals, and left the apartment without so much as a word. "You will have to figure out their own dinners tonight. A man must reflect on his failure and come to grips upon is fallibility."
Over the years I've grappled with a much too explosive compulsion that always resorts to angered. In my 30s, I've been Fortunate to gain some wisdom and witness it happening before it can get to any sort of destruction. But it still doesn't make it any easier. If anything, the fear is much more pronounced, believing that every momentary confrontation can lead to certain doom.
My only course, when certain instances arrive, is to seek isolation and whether the storm as it passes by, without bystanders becoming unnecessary casualties. It is as if I devolve into some sort of a primitive state, only looking for immediate satisfaction such as food or entertainment --anything really that does not require any social responsibilities of being a "human."
Whatever the reason, I just need a break and a cold plate of pollo loco, consisting of two shrimp tacos and a side of rice and beans.
My fiancé will most likely wonder where I headed off two --probably an unanswered text message and a phone call that goes straight to voicemail because I set my mobile to airplane mode. She will probably ask about dinner when I get home and I will answer with a shrug and want to turn in early for the night. As I see it, it was a sacrifice on my part, to keep the peace and let sleeping dogs lie.

The Alternative Fact Syndrome

Instead of watching the much anticipated match up of presidential candidates Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump in their third and final debate, I ended up watching the Dodgers take on the Cubs in the NLCS. Just after the sixth when the Cubs were up 10 – 2, I decided to turn off the TV all together. I just needed a much needed break –just a little time to unwind and say enough is enough. Local sports have been a bit of a slump (although the NFL was finally back in LA), rent and gas prices were up, and the presidential race was devolving into a horrible episode of trash daytime television just before the early news.

What the hell is going on with this thing called the human race?

It’s almost becoming a bit of a clichĂ© of itself, having to walk through a supermarket with a small basket of discounted items because you have some sort of geo-targeted online add pulled up on your iPhone – just remember to show your cashier so they can scan your QSR code. We’re more and more becoming the guinea pigs to some social experiment that we didn’t even realize we consented for. From the fast food dining room, to the social media celebrities we follow, to the polarizing twitter hashtag defining who’s life actually matters for something, this place called civilization has amounted to nothing more than a catch phrase – a way for a bombastic loudmouth billionaire to cash in his chips and decide to inspire the masses armed with nothing more than a catchy slogan and a little misguided hatred towards the other. I’d almost say that I was dissatisfied that WWE star Stone Cold Steve Austin hasn’t just appeared at one of his rallies, giving him the ominous finger and body slamming him on a pile of dog shit. I guess that is why I can’t have good things in life.

            As long as ratings stay up, then business is ah-booming.Most of the time, I find myself just in awe of it all. Why watch your daytime soaps when you can just park yourself on a bench and watch the absurdity of everyday people. I sometimes find myself curious, if there was some sort of extraterrestrial civilization observing our every waking moment. I often just dismiss these as just random thoughts and discard them just as fast. But the more I rationalize the tripe that comes out of most of these media outlets and so-called “expert analyst,” the idea of a scripted reality for the amusement of these other worldly beings becomes more and more plausible.Could they be watching us at this very moment? Seeing us struggle and fall –waging war? Curing disease? Making love? This condition would seem something of a rarity –the only consciousness on our planet that can produce such questions. Are we to die and become no more or is there some sort of everlasting circle? Maybe we are to live on through the blood and body of our offspring. Just a passing thought in the maelstrom of on-demand streaming television.Just give me a couple more likes on my latest online tweet, just to let me know that it was all worth something.

December 31, 2016 came and went like a flash and I took a good look at the remains of wadded-up confetti flakes mixed in with wet beer soaked napkins on the floor. A brand new year and we’re getting ready for our celebrity savior Donald Trump to take office. The people have spoken so lets not waste a single breath trying to dispute it. My own energy is spent on trying to figure out what is going on in my own head –I had a hard enough time trying to dispute weather or not I should wear a pair off boxer-briefs out the package without washing it. Who has the time to fret over social-economic tragedies such as the American system when we have the ability to eat non-GMO burrito bowls, or binge watch on our tablets and iPhones?Last night, while drinking a couple of IPAs and playing jenga, I tried to count how many times I saw someone staring into their phones, making sure they “stayed connected.” The count got up to 22 before I had to take a piss, forgetting what my point was. Does it seem that they’re some grey filter between people now-a-days, even when I’m in mid conversation with them? I’ve become obsessed by the idea of being heard without having to compete with the sudden ping of a message notification.            

I’ve decided though that I will stay optimistic at the turn of this new year. The market is up and the states have an opportunity to build new forged relationships with foreign powers, because business is all about the “win-win.” As long as we leave it better than how we saw it, for our kids sake; our eternal lives depend on it. It’s the new frame of mind that I’ve managed to adopt, removing the all Supreme Being that runs my reality and focusing on man instead –because in the day of big data and big brother, it seems that there is only one thing guaranteed and that is the here and now –with only each other to keep us sane, no one else. Wars, politics, religious zealots, Donald Trump: it all seems senseless when placed in the context that we could very well be all alone in this whole great thing called the universe.

2017 puts a new perspective that we might actually need one another to survive what’s in store for us. Earth will not last forever, but will humanity rise up –and live past this modern age and into the stars? It may very well be in the dealing, but only if the chips fall in our favor. But lets at least make each other comfortable in the meantime. Forty-five days into this guys Presidency and I already want to hang ‘em up and say “maybe the next guy (or gal) will figure it out.” I know it’s a gross statement to speculate upon the legacy of Mr. Donald J. Trump, but what about the children? While the adults are having way too much fun playing politics, the next generation is already planting their foreheads upon their tiny little palms wondering if they’re already expected to come up with the solution. After all, we’re only borrowing this plot of land and sea from their gracious hearts.It’s not so bad, as long as we have The Bachelor on ABC Monday nights to keep us warm and secure, there’s no need to be weary on the foreign powers that are at this moment mobilizing against our weakness. Just take a moment and take in the bliss of selective notifications –if something bothers you that much, just unfriend them and if you can’t think of anything nice to say, find a twitter chain and blast some poor sap anonymously with a violent tirade in just under 127 characters or less.Remember, we are the world’s example of sophistication and social enlightenment, just as long as nobody cares too much about the alternative facts.

The Rocket, The Gun, The Old Man at the Dinner Table


I wrote this piece about three years ago. With the turmoil that is in recent news, I felt the need to try and share as it has given me a little more perspective in time.

 I hope you do to....

The Rocket, The Gun, The Old Man at the Dinner Table

I dreamt of a gathering – a multitude of friends – catching up on years of life, accomplishments, and regrets. Some were well off, while others(in the same rut of life) were wasting their hopes and talents away.

 I dreamt that they all sat atop a hill looking over a great city. The city was torn with violence and destruction, spilling out into the streets – into it’s suburbs and onto the out reaches their civilization. People were killing one another and an escape seemed like a far away fantasy.

My brother and I stood amongst the community, frightened by the possibility of the violent chaos of the city reaching us. Some amongst us were armed in the event of a sudden attack, believing that a ever growing stock pile of guns and ammunition was the answer to security. My brother and I wanted no part of it and couldn't face the certain death within a random cross fire. We decided to leave the small hilltop and the far outskirts of this city – away from the only home we ever knew. We wandered deeper into the distant mountains and rocky canyons, hoping to find lasting peace and shelter.

 We stumbled into a small village and a small family took us into their home. They did not have much, but what little they did have they gave to us and fed us with their days harvest; we took refuge and we were glad. During that evening’s dinner, the father spoke of a lifetime of great achievement – wealthy in wisdom and compassion. My brother and I listened in great awe and reverence, hoping that one day we could be able to tell a similar story to our children.

 Then I dreamt of a great black sky suddenly flashing a searing white – turning the very night into day. A distant fireball, a rocket-like projectile soared and collided into the horizon. The family cried out as the earth shook; a plumb of smoke rose in the far distance – a pillar of impending death – a judgment reigning down upon us all. How can man create such devices while disease go uncured and hungry children of the world cry to sleep? The small family took refuge, but I knew there was no escape. My brother and I too shelter within a small bathroom in the basement – using only a bookshelf to barricade the door, but we knew it was futile. This was the end and we knew we only had a moment to say goodbye. Then a great fire consumed us all and everything we ever knew. I felt nothing: no pain, no sorrow, and no tragedy – only a blazing white furnace of destruction. 

 And then…

 My eyes slowly opened and I realized I was now awake – a memory of something not yet come to past. I have been blessed with another day to do what I decide to do. The trees outside the small apartment window gently swayed in the autumn breeze, a blue sky hovering above. The room sat still in a great silence, with nothing to fill the air but a faint ticking of a table-side clock.

A Little Bit of Cheese and Salsa

For the last year I have participated in Toastmasters International. This was a great growing experience for me as it allowed me to develop a skill-set that I didn't know I possessed --not to mention too terrified to find out.

The organization is a non-profit that develops and trains it's members in public speaking, communication, and leadership. I think I've repeated myself before on this blog, but I have been in a transition of changing my habits and perspectives on life. Anything that I would previously perceive as scary or "out of my comfort zone," I would just jump right in.

And the results are that I fell in love right away. I found confidence in myself that existed well beyond talking in front of a group of strangers. I was able to communicate to other people more effectively as well. Family and friends included, I was able to develop and phrase my words clearly and directly.

I soon found myself feeling anxious for my speeches, but not just to hear myself talk, but for a few moments of getting an audience's undivided attention. I think our lives are filled with distractions and disruptions that no one really listens to each other speak and just waits for their turn to talk. With public speeking, there is none of that. You are now on a soapbox with the platform to say what you feel like saying. It touched a nerve in me that I cannot ignore anymore.

Another great benefit of exercising the ability to speak in front of others is that it has added a new dimension to my writing. Preparing a speech is now another form of writing in which you are now required to speak the words and ideas that you have written. It's the most terrifying and yet the most liberating experience that I can describe. I will not attempt to try and describe this to you but only to encourage you to try it yourself. Once you get over your initial jitters, you will find that it is an amazing experience.

With that, I thought I would share a speech that I wrote for one of the requirements of the program. You can really choose any topic you like and I chose cooking my favorite snack. Now before you jump out your judgmental remarks, just so that you know, the objective is to use description and visual words to tell a story in just under 6 minutes. So I thought I would have fun with it.

Enjoy!

Thank you Mister Toastmaster, Fellow Toastmaster, and most welcomed guests.

I would like to first start out and say that I love food. In case you haven’t noticed by my hefty exterior. There is something about nutritional consumption that I, for myself, correlate to the happiest moments of my life.

Now, imagine right now your favorite meal and I can almost bet with certainty that you are transported to a specific moment in time and if not, then, I am sorry to say, that you are not a fan of delicious cuisine as I am.

You ask me what my favorite seafood is and I’ll tell you about the most delicious grilled shrimp dish, overlooking the beautiful Pacific coast of the beaches of Central America. My favorite Italian food? And I’ll vividly describe the busy streets of Little Italy in South Bronx, as I relish a delightful calzone right before my first Yankee game.

Those are my experiences with food and across the years it has been my life’s pursuit to engineer the best dish imaginable.

So, what do I cook?

Well, I guess I would have to say is that I am a simple man. And my passion for perfecting my signature quesadilla is second-to-none.

Now, I know what you may be thinking. A quesadilla? There really isn’t much to a quesadilla.

And you are right to think so. It is virtually two, MAYBE three ingredients if you wish to make thinks difficult.

But I argue that a quesadilla derives its complexity from its simplicity. The convergence of its ingredients coming together to form its intricate flavors is what places this versatile snack in the realm of legend.

I benefited from the quesadilla throughout my entire childhood, and has even made an impact during my college years. It has been a dish that has been virtually essential for delivering all of my primary food groups on a budget.

Now let me take a moment to share some knowledge with everyone. What I am proposing is a simple step recommendation to achieve maximum quesadilla potential.

One, depending on your choice of carbohydrates, you must decide one of the following: Corn or …flour tortilla –any of the other healthier, more “organic” substitutes may work just as fine if you are in a critical situation. But if you wish to achieve perfection, you must not stray from my recommendation.

Next, take choice of tortilla and lather with butter or margarine. My recommendation is either or, because to this day I still have no idea what is the difference between butter and margarine. 

Next, place tortilla in a heated skillet and allow 1-2 minutes until tortilla has reached optimal state of golden brown. Flip said tortilla and repeat previous steps.

Continuing on, begin to add your choice of cheese. Your variety of cheeses is really where your creativity can shine, but I offer the following prescriptions: shredded cheddar; mozzarella; Monterey jack; and various forms of brie. Allow cheese to melt and liquefy into a molten pulp. If you are unsure if the cheese is properly melted, I can recommend at your own risk that you attempt to administer a bare finger test. Test results are immediate and painful.

Finally, once you have confirmed that cheese is properly melted, I recommend adding your choice of salsa to add any extra layer of spice and flavor. I can recommend any of the following: Tostido’s Chunky salsa – mild; La Victoria’s Thick n Chunky – Hot; Picco de Gallo – any preference; and Jack Daniels. (A note of the last option, that was during my failed college year recipe and I have no intentions of returning to that.)

You will now complete the process by folding quesadilla into a half moon and let it cool on dish. This recipe is best enjoyed with a topping of sour cream and/or guacamole.

In closing, I define the absurdity of meticulously defining the steps to preparing a quesadilla as commitment –commitment to a craft. Although it may not be understood to many, it is the practice and routine that makes perfection possible.

What is your daily craft? What is your path to perfection? Thank you.

Year End Reflections: 5 Things I've Learned as a Toastmaster



In our family, we play dominos for holidays!! Or at least we just started with my mom's white elephant Christmas present. What can I say? Board games maybe old school, but its a way to take a break from all the digital fiasco!

Happy Holidays Everyone!!!

The time has come for us to get our travel plans and new years resolutions together for the new 2016. Still, we can't forget all that we've accomplished in 2015 alone. I enjoy taking a moment to reflect upon some of the goals that I was able to achieve and how I can build on some of that momentum in the new year.

This last year was definitely a rebuilding year for me --having entered into a new job, in a new industry of media advertising. It was an exciting opportunity for me to enter a new field, allowing me to tap into some new skill-sets that I did not realize having before. 

One of the many benefits of working for the media agency I work for now is that there is an incentive towards employee development programs, one of which being public speaking. As I said in earlier posts, the fear of something new and risky was something I tended to avoid, with the fear of failure being too great. But I soon learned that being to cautious was not good for self development --that I would often find myself in stale waters.

Speaking in front of others --or in some respects just speaking in general --was very scary to me; my heart would clench up and I would start to shake. But my time working with a start up made me realize that the greatest tool in this life was the ability to communicate and influence ideas. The only way to do that was to speak in front of people. When my company announced that they would be launching a Toastmaster's chapter exclusively for their employees, I jumped at the opportunity  even though every ounce of my being told me not to, still yet, I've come to the point where if something makes me nervous, I do it!!

Now, almost a year later I've completed 3 speeches of the 10 speech program and I couldn't feel more optimistic about the future!! I couldn't describe the rush of preparing for a speech and delivering them successfully. I remember the days leading up to each speech and how I was a nervous wreck --having to perform them in front of a room of people I don't even know. But I soon bought into the program so much that I volunteered to become the club president, believing in the value of public speaking towards your professional life and in so many ways, although I am still new to the program, I became a mentor for some of the newest members which was exciting for me.

As we approach the new year, the idea of developing myself as a writer and a public speaker is very exciting but also very nerve wracking. I am such a recluse and I tend to enjoy my thoughts and feelings to myself. To be in a position where I have a platform to share my voice is frightening because it requires me to become very vulnerable. But, with that uncertainty, my new perspective tells me to build the courage and keep going after it!

To finish off, I would like to share some items that I actually included in my most recent speech. The theme of the speech centered around an end-of-year theme.

5 Things I've Learned After My First Year in Toastmaster's:

1. Learn to relax within the moment:

A lot of the times, I get so nervous that I tend to rush through my speeches that my nervousness would just amplify beyond recognition. Learning to settle in and embrace the moment sounds counter-intuitive, but in the end, it is a great helps.

2. Prepare; know your stuff:

Confidence comes from what you know and knowledge is power. Constantly educate yourself on topics that interest you so that you can become an authority so that it may translates into your presentations. Also, you cannot fake preparation. People claim to work the best when they "wing it", but intelligent people can see through the smoke and mirrors. So if you want to speak about something that matters, prepare and know your stuff.

3. Make mistakes, they make you grow:

I am my own worst critic. Beating myself up and bringing down my confidence psychologically was my biggest set back from trying anything new and taking big risks. But having failed at a start up in spectacular fashion taught me that there is life after failure and that mistakes can be our biggest teacher. 

4. Smile!!!

Early on in Toastmaster's, I noticed that I would smile the widest when I would get nervous. Subconsciously, this would counteract my anxiety because smiling projects confidence and good energy towards others and in return they will smile back. So this would create a positive feedback loop that will just reinforce a better environment for your speech. So practice showing off those pearly whites.

5. Communication, it's only the driving force of civilization:

This final point is more of a broader observation with little hard evidence on my part, but I firmly believe that communication is why mankind is where it is today. Our ability as a species to communicate ideas and thoughts to one another has allowed us to thrive throughout the centuries. To forgo that skill is like refusing to learn to read or write --or to a greater extent walk and run. Speech is our evolutionary advantage as a human. Learn to develop it every now and then folks!

Finally, as part of all of your new years resolutions, think about the following: What are your daily items of practice? What are you trying to get better at every single day?

Let's make 2016 the next big step towards answering that.

Another Break, Another Chance to Get On the Wagon

So, it has been a bit of a break and I think I can safely say that I am struggling as a writer. Or at least in comparison to most working, professional writers

These last couple of months has been challenging because of the fact that I've experienced a good amount of changes. For one, a new job that has landed me back in the tech field. 

What can I say? I missed it. 

The idea of working in technology really excites me and it lends itself well to my ambitions of being a science fiction writer. I know it sounds unconventional, but an IT professional trying to be a creative writer sounds like a mismatch. Or is it?

As far as I am concerned, tech people can be the most creative minds you will ever meet. And I believe it is an interesting space to be in with the way our society and civilization is heading. 

So how does that lead to writing?

I'm not quite sure, but I'm also not trying to make sense of it now. The only thing I'm committed to is the words on the page. That's plenty of enough reasoning for me to say that I am not the path.

I am gearing up for my next written project by working on a treatment for another screenplay. You're only as good as your next project right? It has been a challenge with the transition and all, but I've faced stiffer challenges before as was still able to produce.

So here is to the next couple of months of pain and sweat. 

Cheers.




My Own Small Town Perception




As I sit in a coffee shop in Puyallup, Washington--a suburb right outside of Seattle--I grow an appreciation for the small town life. The sense of community-- not being afraid to speak to the people around you--I think I've lost that atmosphere with my time in LA.

Now, I'm no stranger to the suburbs outside of a major city. I grew up in a small desert town of Palmdale, California--inside the heart of the Mojave desert. Though it was set within the boundaries of LA county, it was very much a suburban city with its pockets of rural bliss. A major city still felt very much foreign to me.

Though I lived in Los Angeles close to ten years now, I still call my small town community home. I guess I find my peace whenever I visit my home town. My perspective on the world derives from my upbringing, the way that i looked at the world and how everything can fit within it.

Yes, at times, it became sheltering--living in the middle of nowhere has a tendency to block out what's really going on in the world outside. Those who have never left the farm--I coin these people "lifers"-- remain in a sort-of perpetual arrested development, stunted in their growth for never wanting anything more out of life.

However, that observation--really an assumption on my part--was really an over-generalization. Who am I to say that people in rural/suburban communities are living any less of a life than me? I chose to move out of my small town for the big city because that was what I valued, but that doesn't mean I should hold everyone else to that same standard.

So my metropolitan arrogance slowly dissipates when I take this moment; I embrace the town from nowhere. The smell of ground roasted coffee and the knick-knacks that decor the walls gives me peace--a chance to step back and reflect.

I am trying to become an observer--someone who can listen and soak life in. My writing suffers from lack of detail and it is a shame because I feel that the details are all that's left in my memories.

As I explore a new depth to writing, the focus on the here-and-now becomes prevalent. To seek a three dimensional space with my words and to provide a richness in description that I hope will enhance your reading experience.

I'll be back in LA soon and will get back at it at the coffee shop.

Thank you and we will chat soon.

AB

Podcasting: A New Media Revolution




You are probably wondering, "why the pictures?" 

To put it simply, I decided to practice some photography with the hopes that it can stoke my creativity towards writing. The photos above were taken with my Galaxy S5 and I guess after all this I realized that I'm fascinated with black and whites. Here are some images that I took during my trip in Seattle and I hope to get better --perhaps start learning to enhance the pictures through photoshop. 

With that said, I am back in LA with my well refilled and a fresh attitude towards taking on life by storm!

So, in order for me to find time to write, I have to keep a pretty regimented schedule for myself. With a forty hour per week, 9-5er, finding the time needed inside that magic hour of inspiration is a rarity in itself.
Twenty-four hours in a day is really not a lot of time to get that quality writing in. Most of the time I'm grumpy and distracted with the idea that I haven't had the time to get my quota --and with creative projects that I have set as benchmarks for myself, I really feel the clock ticking.
So how do I balance it all?
I've been trying to learn from the many who have walked before me --those who are still very much walking the same tumultuous journey.

One thing that really has kept me on course has been podcasting. Several podcasts featuring talented writers of all disciplines, from Scriptnotes, Nerds Writers Podcast, Children of Tendu, have allowed me to connect to the creative community of screenwriters by way of new media.

 The Writer Files has an interesting setup in how they were agnostic in terms of the type of writing and are focused towards "keeping the ink flowing" and how the featured writers maintain a productive work flow.
These ides and practices become important to any new writer such as myself. The journey has become such an isolated process that finding any pearls of wisdom is like spring water from a desert oasis. Most of the times the advice becomes universal: to keep on writing. The key to creativity is to get out of your own way and allow yourself to imagine without inhibition or self-doubt.
If you are a fellow writer such as myself, check out anyone of these podcasts and maybe suggest some my way. I am always looking for new sources of inspiration.
Take care and I'll be talking to you all soon.
AB

Mirrors: A First Take On the Man Inside



My no surprise to anyone, I will admit that I have my own set of problems.
Why am I saying this?
Because the first rule to growth is to become bare with yourself. Change and improvement cannot happen with constant denial or hiding from the issue. So I take a look into the mirror and really take a deep assessment to find out what's going wrong.
Some would say that I am a bit of an emotional person, but not in terms of an overly sensitive "thinned-skinned" sort of personality. I would say that I have a bit of a temper problem--an inability to just let things go.
Now, I have to take a step back and explain that I am a even keeled, rational person that, say, doesn't fly off the handle when getting cut-off on the road--hell, I rarely honk the car horn.
I have a public persona that appears friendly, social, and calm in almost any public environment.
But that's not what I'm talking about. We all walk among each other with two very distinct notions of who we are; the mask that we put on for our day jobs. It is in my private moments when I tend to let my inner self rise to the surface.
I can't help but bring pain to the ones I love and it is not my intention to do so. It is as if I present my best version of myself to the entire world and at the end of the day -- out of sheer exhaustion -- I only offer the scraps of myself to those who truly deserve more.
And why is that? If I had the answer I'd definitely wouldn't be writing this now. Done, sealed, bring me the check and call it a day. So what gives?
The best answer I can offer right now is that I harbor ill feelings towards an invisible advesary. What I mean is that I hold tension within my spirit, this attitude about life that cannot be expressed in any other way besides pent up aggression.
I'm no scientist, but pressure that does not find release or escape can only build to the point of combustion. What you have now is something that is not so subtle and can cause damage to anything, or anyone, standing nearby.
This aggressive resentment has shown to be quite combustible towards my closest relationships. And when you add the extremely flammable elixir of alcohol, it becomes dangerous.
So there, in front of the entire Web--or at least to those who can read this message--I'm freely acknowledging that I have anger management issues. It is why I am so keen on finding avenues towards happiness and expression--and it is especially why I have found my calling towards writing.
This isn't as much of a hobby or passion as it is an effing prescription for myself. These pages and blank screens are the wet stone to sharpen the blade and release the tension between my bones. It is why I keep coming back to this page after sometime away. I know I take many of them along this journey but I know that I have to make the effort, or lose myself along the way.
I only hope that you will be there to listen.
Now that I have found my new vigor, I hope to be coming back soon. Take care friend and I'll be chatting with you soon.

One Down: The Effect of Accomplishment

I did it guys! I made it to the end!

I am proud to say that I have finished my first motion picture screenplay. What does that mean? It means that I am cable of setting a goal for myself -- that I am capable of creating a mission for myself and set out to pursue it.

Long roads are surely started with a single step. I have made a series of questionable choices in my life, but to pursue a dream has left me with little doubt in my mind.

And now the even bigger question: what is next? My plan is to not let my foot off the gas pedal. I plan to continue to focus and refine my medium -- to develop my imagination so that I can easily translate it into story ideas and concepts.

As much as I would be happy to just bask in victory, I know all to well that the journey is far from over. Many writing friends have already told me that the rewrite will be just as daunting; I am already experiencing this on another project that I have developed in the past.

No matter the challenge, I just have to stay conscious of the ultimate goal and understand that this is a process -- filled with ups and more probable downs. Although failure and criticism does scare the shit out of me, I can't rest until I see a vision realized.

We are all born with some sort of purpose and if we take the time to listen to what your inner voice is speaking, then you will find the thread to bring you into the light.

Thanks for sticking with me on my rants. Perhaps, one day, I will share more of my work -- that is, as soon as I build up the courage.

Cheers.

Side note, the photo may seem random but I want to start dabbling in my own photography. In previous posts, I think I was infringing on owned content; so for that, I apologize. 
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